Seeking Purpose Beyond Accomplishment: An Interview with Kasey Compton
Curt and Katie interview Kasey Compton, LPCC, on her new book, In Search of You. We explore her journey of healing and what it was like to put that healing into a public space. We also talk about Kasey’s challenges with being bullied in her hometown due to the choices she has made (getting divorced and then choosing a same-sex relationship) and how her “hard head” has helped her to get through it all. She also shares some ideas for therapists in their own healing journeys.
Click here to scroll to the podcast transcript.Transcript
An Interview with Kasey Compton, LPCC
Kasey Compton is on a mission to help business owners find their entrepreneurial confidence. She went from bankrupt to Boss Babe when she took her first company from zero to three million in less than three years without ditching her life to do it. She owns three other businesses that have accumulated assets of over two million and are growing by the day.
Her superpowers include cutting through the clutter to identify a strategic starting point, increasing efficiency through systems, and tapping into a person’s highest potential. She helps others by designing maps for their entrepreneurial journeys, while she stands confidently as their guide.
In this podcast episode, we talk about how even successful therapists may need their own healing journey
Curt and Katie talk with Kasey Compton about her new book, In Search of You: When Doing More Isn’t Doing It Anymore.
What is “In Search of You” about?
- Kasey wrote a book while going through therapy about her healing process
- Looking at moving away from accomplishment and toward making meaning
- Getting to a place of self-love
- Using Kasey’s stories she wrote during therapy, in real time
How can a high achiever, people pleaser, or “seeker” move toward self-love?
“Everything that I was able to connect from childhood to any kind of positive affection or love or affirmation was related to me being good. And so I think…from this early age, I was programmed that the only way you’re going to find that love and hold on to it, is if you’re doing something to please others.” – Kasey Compton, Author “In Search of You”
- Understanding the relationship between love and accomplishment (or lack of relationship between these two)
- Understanding the difference between authenticity and vulnerability
- Shifting one’s relationship with shame
What is it like to heal in public?
- Coming to terms with vulnerability
- For Kasey, her hometown is religiously conservative who were very judgmental about her stages of healing (including her divorce, a new relationship with a woman, and now writing this book)
- Putting on emotional armor in unsafe places
- Finding community support
- Moving forward with boldness and self-acceptance
- Detaching from outcomes
How do these lessons apply for therapists?
“[Therapists] think that sacrifice is necessary for success. And it’s not. It’s just one of the little lies or one of the little tricks that we tell ourselves to push harder so that we keep going and push harder. And I think for therapists it’s really important just to have someone telling you and supporting you in that way that you can have success and you can have joy and self love. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for your business or for your practice.” – Kasey Compton, Author “In Search of You” (around 32 minutes)
- Taking a holistic, full person look at who you are professionally
- Using a timeline to understand ourselves and how our lives have impacted us
- Doing our own work with a therapist or through journaling and doing a timeline
- Finding balance
- Moving away from self-sacrifice as a mechanism toward accomplishment
Resources for Modern Therapists mentioned in this Podcast Episode:
We’ve pulled together resources mentioned in this episode and put together some handy-dandy links. Please note that some of the links below may be affiliate links, so if you purchase after clicking below, we may get a little bit of cash in our pockets. We thank you in advance!
In Search of You by Kasey Compton
Fix This Next for Healthcare Providers by Kasey Compton
Kasey’s podcast: Back Porch Besties
Relevant Episodes of MTSG Podcast:
Being a Therapist on Both Sides of the Couch, An Interview with Rwenshaun Miller, MA, LCMHC, NCC
Becoming a Group Practice Owner, An Interview with Maureen Werrback, LCPC
The Person of the Therapist: An interview with Dr. Harry Aponte
Who we are:
Curt Widhalm, LMFT
Curt Widhalm is in private practice in the Los Angeles area. He is the cofounder of the Therapy Reimagined conference, an Adjunct Professor at Pepperdine University and CSUN, a former Subject Matter Expert for the California Board of Behavioral Sciences, former CFO of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, and a loving husband and father. He is 1/2 great person, 1/2 provocateur, and 1/2 geek, in that order. He dabbles in the dark art of making “dad jokes” and usually has a half-empty cup of coffee somewhere nearby. Learn more at: http://www.curtwidhalm.com
Katie Vernoy, LMFT
Katie Vernoy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, coach, and consultant supporting leaders, visionaries, executives, and helping professionals to create sustainable careers. Katie, with Curt, has developed workshops and a conference, Therapy Reimagined, to support therapists navigating through the modern challenges of this profession. Katie is also a former President of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. In her spare time, Katie is secretly siphoning off Curt’s youthful energy, so that she can take over the world. Learn more at: http://www.katievernoy.com
A Quick Note:
Our opinions are our own. We are only speaking for ourselves – except when we speak for each other, or over each other. We’re working on it.
Our guests are also only speaking for themselves and have their own opinions. We aren’t trying to take their voice, and no one speaks for us either. Mostly because they don’t want to, but hey.
Stay in Touch with Curt, Katie, and the whole Therapy Reimagined #TherapyMovement:
Consultation services with Curt Widhalm or Katie Vernoy:
Connect with the Modern Therapist Community:
Our Facebook Group – The Modern Therapists Group
Modern Therapist’s Survival Guide Creative Credits:
Voice Over by DW McCann https://www.facebook.com/McCannDW/
Music by Crystal Grooms Mangano https://groomsymusic.com/
Transcript for this episode of the Modern Therapist’s Survival Guide podcast (Autogenerated):
Transcripts do not include advertisements just a reference to the advertising break (as such timing does not account for advertisements).
… 0:00
(Opening Advertisement)
Announcer 0:00
You’re listening to the Modern Therapist’s Survival Guide where therapists live, breathe, and practice as human beings. To support you as a whole person and a therapist, here are your hosts, Curt Widhalm, and Katie Vernoy.
Curt Widhalm 0:15
Welcome back modern therapists, this is the Modern Therapist’s Survival Guide. I’m Curt Widhalm, with Katie Vernoy. And this is the podcast for therapists about the things that we do in our practices, the things that we deal with our clients, the kind of overall modern world around therapy, and all of that kind of stuff. And Katie and I were recently talking about what should we do as far as podcast topics. And I had thrown out the idea of like, you know, we talk a lot about, you know, therapists should be in therapy, like, you know, we talk grad students go into therapy, this kind of stuff. And it’s like, what are we hoping that they actually get out of therapy? Like, this is generally good advice. But what is it specifically and Katie was like, you know, that we’re interviewing Kasey Compton, right, and she’s got a book that’s like, really just about this? So, that’s not all we’re talking about today. But we are joined today by Kasey Compton, author, entrepreneur, LPCC, and getting real vulnerable about all sorts of stuff. So thank you so much for joining us today.
Kasey Compton 1:16
Thank you for having me. And for remembering or knowing, Katie, that I wrote a book about this.
Katie Vernoy 1:24
Well, I, I know your book’s coming out. I think when when we air this, your book’s coming out tomorrow. So this is great timing for folks to be able to pre order real quick or hop on the bandwagon and grab it right after it comes out. But you were very kind or your assistant, I think was very kind and sent us a PDF kind of pre published book, and oh, my gosh, I will probably continue to gush. But I was reading it, I was like, this is really, really good. I am a reader. I love reading. And it’s really, really good. So anyway, we’ll get you started with the question we ask all our folks and just so glad to finally have you on the podcast Kasey. You and I, you and I have had some great conversations over the years, and so it’s just been, it’s good to actually get you on the podcast and talking with us. The question we asked everyone is who are you? And what are you putting out into the world?
Kasey Compton 2:16
I am a mom, an author, and entrepreneur, you know, all the things. I’m kind of all the things like all the rest of us. And for a very long time, I kind of thought my superpower was business and systems and, and maybe that’s one component of it. And so for a long time I did that work. And then I really kind of went in the opposite direction. And I was like, something’s not, something’s missing here. Like, I don’t know what it is. But something something’s missing. And so I started doing a lot of internal work and going through a lot of changes and figured out what that was. And that was that feeling of fulfillment. And it’s so important to me now to not only put out tangible practical things about business, but also connecting with people on a more personal vulnerable level. And reminding them that loving themselves, finding joy, creating space within their lives to enjoy what they have is just as important as all of the shiny objects that you’re going to chase.
Katie Vernoy 3:24
I mean, this is a big departure from all the group practice stuff, the mindset partner stuff. Can you tell us a little bit about what led you down this path?
Kasey Compton 3:34
Yeah, well, for a long time, I was just like, full steam ahead, you know, like blinders on, focused on goals, business growth, all of these things. And it really just kind of lit me up. I was on fire to succeed and do things and build a life for myself and my family, my kids that we had never experienced before. But I kept finding myself like reaching goals and doing things that I set out to do. And then getting there. And then instantly looking on again for the next thing. And so I just like I wanted, just as an example, I worked really hard, generated revenue, saved money for a few years, I was able to buy beach house down in South Carolina. And that’s like one of my dreams. And when I got there and like, my kids are around and everything. Like instead of just sitting there and just being fulfilled, I was just thinking, wonder how much it would take to sell this one, reinvest in another one that’s one street closer to the beach. Like constantly just like going going and I was just missing out on so much joy and and despite the fact that I started to recognize it. And I wanted to feel like in the moment, I just couldn’t do it. So that was kind of the start of the journey for me.
Curt Widhalm 5:08
In your book, you talk a lot about getting to self love, authenticity, this kind of stuff, like kind of pulling the curtain back a little bit, Katie and I, we’ve been podcasting for going on seven years now. So, there’s a lot of topics that we cover. And we had originally kind of thought that this was a, an episode around like burnout. And we had talked behind the scenes, like, we don’t want this just to be another burnout episode. Like there’s plenty of stuff in our catalogue in the past, there’s plenty of other places. This one feels different in that you’re actually quite open about the work that you do to get there. Like there’s kind of that speak to these goals. And I hear you, I see you, I see a lot of that in myself as far as just kind of, so this is a little bit maybe just asking for my own advice, but like, talk about the work that you went through to move from, it’s about getting to goals to actually getting to that self love part of the authenticity, because I know I sure can fake authenticity when it comes to like, yes, yes. But then I go back to goals and that kind of stuff.
Kasey Compton 6:18
Yeah, let me take it kind of back to the book, because I think that will help me it’s answer your question a little bit better. So in the very first chapter of the book, and
Curt Widhalm 6:29
And the book, by the way, is called “In Search of You”. Like we haven’t said that yet. So…
Kasey Compton 6:36
It is called “In Search of You”. It started out just throughout the whole writing process being called Searching for Something because I am not, I can’t name things very well, I have struggled with it. So I was like, I’m just gonna call it what it feels like. And then we’ll figure all that stuff out later. So, it was really about from the beginning, like a quest to search for something. And I think we all do it. But we just don’t always know what it is that we’re searching for. And it’s a feeling thing that we think we get it from, you know, being an entrepreneur or creating the next business or reaching the next financial goal or whatever. But to answer your question, one of my editors who was helping me through this process, she was, she was like, Listen, I need you to start this book, in the middle of all of the action. Like I need to be right there at that epiphany moment where your, your light bulb just go off and like everything is different for you. And I just, I just need you to put me in that in that scene. It was actually the launch of my first book, “Fix This Next” that all of that happened. Which should have been this amazing, happy, exciting time. It was like the one thing I’d always wanted to do was publish a book. And here I am doing it. But I had all these secrets that wasn’t appropriate to tell anybody that was going on at that time. And so I had all these people in my house, and I’m having to pretend that I’m happy. And I’m not because I’m secretly going through a divorce, I’ve got all of this chaos going on in my life. And it was just totally nuts. And you know, during that time, I just remember thinking like, I should be on top of the world right now. Like, this should just feel amazing. And it felt like nothing. Like literally nothing. And then when I start going back through other big events, or other big things that happened, success wise, it wasn’t the feeling that I had wanted. Right after that launch party I got in a big fight with my ex, soon to be ex at that time. And the one thing he looked at me, like straight in the face, and he was like, You’re fucked up. You need therapy. And in the moment, I was just like, Well, you do too, you know, whatever. But then afterward when he was gone, when everybody was gone, and I was just at home by myself, I was thinking, I probably do, like I probably do. And so that’s kind of how it started. And I really did some research, tried to find a good therapist for me and set off on this journey. And I didn’t know at that time. It wasn’t like, Hey, I’m gonna write a book about this.
Katie Vernoy 9:39
Sure.
Kasey Compton 9:40
It’s not what was happening. But as I started going through therapy, I started journaling and writing and that was how I was processing my therapy sessions and processing, you know, trauma, processing memories that I blocked out in the past and just all the stuff. And so ultimately, that writing turned into this book. So, most of the stories that are in there are were written in real time, as I was actually excavating and and healing and, you know, in all of the all of the good and the bad, it was all real time.
… 10:21
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Katie Vernoy 10:23
It’s so vulnerable, I mean, the things that I read, and I definitely read the first section and started kind of picking through it, I’m like, Oh, I gotta go back and read this straight through. This is amazing, but, but it’s really vulnerable. It’s really personal. I mean, the opening scene where you’re talking about, I don’t know how to describe it, you do a great job in the book. And so I’m not saying that I can’t describe it, because you didn’t do it. But I just I really resonated with this idea of being present in this, like, amazing peak moment. And feeling, I think you I think you said dissociated at one point, you also felt like frozen or disconnected or that kind of stuff, and just not being able to connect to the success and that that process of identifying that chasing success was how you avoided your emotions and all this stuff. And so I want to go and talk about that, because that’s super resonant. And I know that this is something that probably a lot of therapists and a lot of high achievers, you call them seekers in your book, but I’ve called them sacrificial helpers in the past where your the achievement is around helping others. But but I think a lot of us can really resonate with that. And so I feel like I’ve now lost track of what I was going to ask. So, I’ll leave it to you. But like, it’s very vulnerable. And it’s also very resonant. And I think both of those things are worthy conversations to have about, you know, kind of what you can offer with your experience in writing the book.
Kasey Compton 11:50
Yeah, keep me, pull me back on this if you think of what you wanted to. So one of in that moment, we’re in the middle of the launch party. And some of my mentors, we have, like a big, big television in the living room, and we zoomed them in. So I had people physically there, but then I had Mike Michalowicz and Geoffrey Shaw and Laura Stone, AJ Harper, who helped me edit the last book pop on screen. And one of the first things that AJ did was she just kind of looked at me like she does. And she said, in front of everyone, like, I’m so proud of you. And like, it just made me shrivel and cringe, like this. totally opposite response that any human being should have. I was just like, after everything kind of settled down, and I started therapy that was one of the things that was on my mind. Like, why did that have such that, why did it have that effect on me? Why did someone telling me that they were proud, make me feel that way? And it you know, one of the things that was so impactful with therapy, but just in running the book, too, was creating my timeline of my life. And looking back, I could never remember anyone ever saying those words to me. And then as I kept going back and back and back, it was able to list out just interactions that I used to have with my grandparents and what a big part they played in my life and how they were very involved. And he was the deacon in Southern Baptist Church. And, you know, she was like the little sewing circle lady and I was always in church in everything that I was able to connect from childhood, to any kind of positive affection or love or affirmation was related to me being good. And so I think like from this early age, I was programmed that the only way you’re going to find that love and hold on to it, is if you’re doing something to please others. And I noticed like how that trickled into my role as a therapist, how that was a part of my role as a business owner. Like I was just seeking love. I don’t know I’m just gonna pause there I guess just because making that connection and then I was able to go back to what AJ said, like, I’m proud of you. No wonder that felt so weird. That that wasn’t like a normal part of of my life growing up and it’s just not how my family operated. So it was it was just different for me.
Katie Vernoy 14:44
In being successful, you know, multi six seven figure businesses, you know, huge group practice, consulting other group practice owners, being a therapist yourself. I mean, this is after that. This is insight and awareness and and work that you’ve done after that. And, and so I think that the question was around, what was it like before? And what is it like after, where you’re not having to put on this facade of this successful, caring, put together person, versus now when you can actually be more fully embodied?
Kasey Compton 15:23
I feel now more. I’ve Okay, so before, when I say the word authentic, in my mind, it means just real, okay? Like, it is, is your transparent, it’s just real. I’ve always been authentic. But I always haven’t always felt comfortable being vulnerable, if that makes sense. So now, it’s different for me, because I feel like I’m not running from vulnerability and from emotion and from, I feel more balanced now than I did before. Because before, I just kind of felt like, I had to just keep going, because if I stopped, I would feel so I would have to deal with reality of like emotions and trauma, and you know, all those things. So the work just kept me avoidant of all of the stuff that I needed to do. Now, I don’t necessarily feel that way. Now it’s more of like, I have different relationships in my life now. Because of this, I have different I can have I have the bandwidth and the space to be able to have different types of conversations with people, which I would have been, I could not have had this conversation with you all five years ago, I would have been so uncomfortable, like crawling under the desk. I got it, so to answer that question, sort of I mean, it’s just changed me in, in so many ways. And people that I haven’t, like, had a face to face or zoom, a virtual face to face conversation with, like Maureen and I, I mean, we’ve been friends for a long time, but I haven’t really sat down and talked to her in a couple years. And I met with her a few weeks ago. And she’s like, wow, something’s really different about you. You know, and other people noticed it before I did. And I think it was just me giving myself permission to work on things, to accept things about myself, to seek out answers for questions that I always have.
Curt Widhalm 17:56
I want to know about your process with doing this publicly. That there’s so much that goes into manicuring a persona as a business owner, of needing to have kind of this quasi authenticity, this quasi vulnerability, this cultivated aspects that we put out there, a you are dealing with, is just publicly dealing with shame and kind of giving, not giving shame, so much power in this. And I’m, I’m curious about your decision making process to do this in this way. So that, you know, you’re talking about all of these wonderful benefits and the things that people notice. And I’m super happy for you in that. For people who haven’t been through that process to get to the other side. Can you talk about just even like, What the hell am I doing?
Kasey Compton 18:52
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I thought that for a good solid year and a half. Honestly, to be quite honest. I started working, like I said, I was journaling and doing all these thing, and for myself. Then it kind of became Oh, like, this might be a book. And then it became, oh, this is a book but now I’m not sure how I’m even going to publish it. But, so that was kind of going on. And I talk I talk about this a lot. And I don’t know if you all read this or know this or, or anything. But you know, I’m in a really small Christian town. They call it the Bible Belt of Kentucky, the area that I live in. It’s very, very, like my children go to a private Christian school. They’re not allowed to wear open toed shoes, like, I mean, I’m talking you name it, you imagine it, it’s probably what I’m dealing with here. And so just the divorce alone causes chaos for me personally, in my hometown. I lost a lot of friends over it, I lost a lot of employees over it. Then when they found out that I was in dating a female, that really rocked their world around here. We couldn’t really go out in public for a long time. And we did, but it was it was kind of scary. We had people following us, we had people videoing us. We had, I mean, it was my children were being bullied at school. It was really, really hard. And it it, I think it’s just kind of the I don’t know what you call it. I’m very headstrong. And I don’t take to bullying very well. It doesn’t matter if it’s me, or anyone that’s being mistreated that way. And it took a lot of soul searching, because I was just thinking, like, what would I do if this were my best friend that this was happening to? How would I react? What how would I help? What words of advice would I give? And I just tried to take that advice for myself. And I’m like, You know what, we’re just gonna make it public. Like, way out, like, let’s let’s, uh, you name it. I was just like, Yeah, this is what it is. And I think once I just really started embracing the changes in my life, whether they were what people wanted or not, they started to perceive me differently. I mean, imagine me walking into a Christian school. And, like, this was awful like, to tell my daughter’s teacher, that I’m dating a woman, and the children in your class are bullying my daughter and telling her she’s going to hell, because of her mother’s choices. Like, this was like, it was just, it was rough. It was rough. So I think just embracing that, and really, thankfully, doing the work to learn to love myself for the first time, allowed me the opportunity to just say, I don’t care if you like me, or, or not, because I’m okay independent of how you feel about me. And that’s something I’ve never been able to do before.
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Katie Vernoy 22:30
I think about the professional aspect of that, too, because it sounds like personally, it was so horrific to be in your town and be so vulnerable. But I also, you know, my, my initial impressions of the Kasey Compton were of this very successful business woman who had everything together, and who, you know, were these huge businesses, so, so many amazing resources. And, and I think about just having to hold that persona and then also sharing all of these things, and how, how hard that would be, too. I mean, it seems like on two levels and and very different things that people were having problems with, did you get any responses from the professional community as you were sharing some of your journey, because I’ve seen you share little bits of it. And obviously, I think you have a podcast called Back Porch Besties. And so I’m sure there’s more and more of your stuff coming out. But like, is there have you experienced that? Are you concerned about that when the book comes out that there’s professional things that are going to happen to you as well.?
Kasey Compton 23:34
So the the work that I’ve done in professional circles, like within the console in the consulting realm, have been so overwhelmingly positive I don’t think I don’t know that I could have got through this whole process without all of those practice owners that just kind of had my back. So, that’s been wonderful. I think the worst of it has already come about in like my own personal business, this the group practice. So, I don’t think that the book is really going to tell them anything that they haven’t already concocted in their head. But I just a Friday is the grand opening of another business that I started here two months ago, a pottery studio. And just, you know, the approach that I’ve taken with that has been complete boldness and like, Hey, here’s my chamber membership. I’m in a relationship with a female. On the face, if you don’t like it, don’t accept my application. Like, I mean, just full on, this is what it is. I really don’t care. We have feminist postcards over there. And, you know, like, it’s just, you know, you just you just like it or you don’t, don’t really care. So I don’t I don’t really anticipate much of that. I do anticipate some backlash with my ex. Because I mean, of course you’re talking, I don’t talk about him a lot in the book. It’s more, it’s all about me. But you know how people are, they’re still gonna think it’s about them. But I try not to worry about it. Because one of the things I worked on in therapy for a very long time was my therapist said, you know, have you ever tried to detach yourself from outcomes? And I was like, No, I’m, I’m business owner. No, I, I very much attach to outcomes. Like, can you imagine what your life would look like if you weren’t? And I was like, No. And so I’ve really practiced that. And if people are upset, I’m not attached to that outcome. So that’s on them, not me. So that’s been a big one, it’s been a big one.
Curt Widhalm 25:54
As you’re going through this process is you’re, you know, kind of moving into this confidence. Like, there seems to be a part of this process that we all need to get through to get to the other side. And it’s not a step that can really be faked. It’s not one that can be bypassed a whole lot. What is your advice for people as far as addressing this step? I mean, it’s something that like, you know, we tell, especially like young therapists, like you gotta be in therapy, a lot of grad programs told students, they gotta go, gotta go to therapy. You know, this is kind of getting to that question of like, what is it that step is to, like, get in and actually face it?
Kasey Compton 26:37
Mm hmm. Well, I think you 100% need a support system. I’ll say that, because like I said to you, Katie, I mean, if I wouldn’t have had some key supports during this process, this would have been impossible, probably, for me to get to that other side. And to answer your question, Curt, like, I have a team of therapists right now that in my practice that I’m leading, and every week, I have meet with them. And sometimes it’s coaching about like, scheduling in strategic ways. And some, you know, they’re baby therapist, so they’re still learning a lot and try to try to teach them. But one thing I’ve been working on with them here recently is just more of a holistic approach. Like, let’s talk about who you are, what do you believe in? And how does that align with what you’re doing professionally? And how do you know that you are a trauma focused therapist? How do you know that you truly just believe CBT work? Like, you know, so I’m really probing them to go deeper and explore, explore their own attachment styles with their families, their own communication styles. And I think for people who are trying to get through this process, that, yeah, going to therapy is important. But I think you have to start mapping out your life. And the way I did it that seemed to work best for me, was just just starting, where I was then and going backward as far as I could, and categorizing things on my timeline that were big, big events, big things, like birth, deaths, marriages, moves, like easy things that I could remember; thinking about the emotions that were attached to each of those things. And then as I started doing more work through therapy and learning about myself and noticing things, then I started to fill in that timeline with little things like the smells that would cause a reaction for me. The like, why I stopped painting and drawing, like when did that stop? And so I think just getting it out of our heads and onto paper, whether that’s through drawing out timelines, journaling, or whatever, and then having someone there to help talk through that and try to figure it out and make meaning, looking for patterns, themes. I just learned so much about myself that was like hidden in all of these little things across my timeline. Everything from how I get triggered, like, my heart will start racing faster if I see if the person that I’m with or I see someone like carrying a suitcase. Why I never walk around without shoes or socks on. Why I stopped, why my kids had no pajamas, like all these little things. Once I just like I don’t know, it was just like a light bulbs came on. And I started thinking, oh my gosh, this all makes perfect sense because this happened right after this. And every time something like this happens, this is what I do. So, I think it’s just about really going deep and understanding, understanding who we are and having the support to help get us through it.
Katie Vernoy 30:04
With a lot of therapists, there’s, you know, like a requirement for some not as much anymore for to go to therapy, or, or a strong suggestion to do so. And when you’re talking about it and in reading the book and the parts I was able to get to, it feels like you’re showing what therapy can be in that book. And it seems like it’s super helpful for folks, you know, like clients or people lay people out in the world who are afraid of therapy, don’t know what it’s looking like, and they can kind of jump in there and and start, start walking through it. I think for therapists, which a lot of our audience is, as I was reading it, there was so much that was resonant. And there was so much that I realized that even in my own therapy, I hadn’t done this work, or I hadn’t done it recently. And so it was something where I feel like being able to really look at your life is and really understand it and understand the impacts are important for every human. How do you think it it works for therapists? Like what do you think therapists need to get out of this process? To be able to really, whether it’s a sustainable career, or whether it’s being a better therapist, like what is it that’s needed, you know, and this may be too broad of a question, but but what do you think is needed for therapist in this?
Kasey Compton 31:30
The first thing that comes to my mind, when you ask that question is balance. Therapists are the worst at going unbalanced, you know, like, we’re, we’re too, we’re putting everyone before ourselves most of the time, we feel like we have to sacrifice everything to help other people, whether it’s, like other therapists, employees of ours, or, or whatever, you know, our clients needs. And we think that sacrifice is necessary for success. And it’s not. It’s just one of the little lies or one of the little tricks that we tell ourselves to push harder so that we keep going and push harder. And I think for therapists it’s really important just to have someone telling you and supporting you in that way that you can have both you know, you can have success and you can have joy and self love. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself or your business or for your practice. And that’s kind of where my head went when you ask that question.
Curt Widhalm 32:45
Tell us more about where people can find you, where they can find the book, all the wonderful book launching things and continuing to see you on your journey through this.
Kasey Compton 32:55
Oh, well, you can find me online. You can find me on on social on, probably social is the easiest way. The book is practically everywhere. It’s being distributed by Penguin Random House, so it will go all over, you can grab it on Amazon Barnes Noble, Joseph Beth like any of the any of the major retailers. We’re hoping to get it in as many indie bookstores as we can as well. A lot of times, it’s just if you are in a smaller town, and or if you’re not in a small town, but you have a cute little bookstore that you love. Give them a call, shoot them an email, say, Hey, can you carry this book, and they can do it that way. So I would say it’ll be pretty easy to find. We’d have a lofty goal of selling 10,000 books by launch day. So anyone that thinks that this book would help serve them, I would appreciate a purchase so that we can try to hit that goal. I’m a little nervous, I made that I set the goal. And then afterward I was like, Uh oh, I don’t know.
Katie Vernoy 34:02
I don’t but you’re letting go of the outcome. Right? You’re disconnecting from the outcome. So who is this book for? I think we didn’t actually say that part.
Kasey Compton 34:12
Yeah, this book is for women who find themselves over functioning, whether that be in motherhood, whether that be in their career, in any capacity they’re constantly trying to do more. And the subtitle is how to find joy when doing more isn’t doing it any more. So when you’re just burn out, like you’re just tapped out, you’ve done it al, you can’t get, you you just need more. You need to feel more, but you don’t have any energy left to do more.
Katie Vernoy 34:46
Yeah, I think the thing that I was trying to get to before is just the weight of carrying the persona: the helper, the achiever and that you just it’s hard to lift, and I just felt that so viscerally in reading the first chapter of just that I am put together, but it is all a facade. I am carrying this thing, and I don’t have the strength to carry it anymore. And I feel like, to me that is so important for so many folks. Especially, I think our fellow therapists, to really to think about because it was seeing you go through the process, you know, obviously, through the book, I think gave me permission to do a little bit more of my journey publicly, too. And so I think it’s, it’s really, it’s really a fabulous book to read, I’d really recommend it.
Kasey Compton 35:37
Thank you so much. I appreciate that.
Curt Widhalm 35:40
And we will include links to Kasey’s stuff in our show notes. You can find those over at mtsgpodcast.com. Follow us on our social media, join our Facebook group, the Modern Therapists Group, and until next time, I’m Curt Widhalm, with Katie Vernoy and Kasey Compton.
… 35:55
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